Transplanted

About a year ago I was watching TV an hour or so before bed when I caught the faint smell of mint. Too engrossed in the show to get up and investigate, I blew it off. Then I turned off the TV and went into our bedroom. That was my first mistake. When I hit the entryway a tidal wave of menthol blasted my senses, nearly knocking me to the ground (okay, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but bear with me). Seems Brandon had some sore muscles and decided to treat them with Tiger Balm. I was new to the product, so, after regaining my footing, I climbed into bed and figured I’d get used to it. Wrong.

The smell was so strong it kept me awake and after an hour or so I ended up sleeping on our downstairs couch, not at all happy about it either. Brandon felt so badly about the incident he vowed to never use Tiger Balm again in my presence–especially at night. Fast forward six months.

We’re in Atlanta. Brandon’s gone to bed. I’m reading in the living room when a familiar minty smell hits my nostrils. Too engrossed in my book to investigate, I keep reading. When I hit the entryway of our bedroom…yeah, he did it again. This time he decided that he’d put a turtle neck over it as though that would trap in the stench–listen, there’s a reason they call it Tiger Balm! I’m not sure a steel cage would be enough to trap it. The next morning after finding me sleeping in our guest room I got the same apology, and the same promises.

Fast forward two months to tonight. I’m enjoying my dinner. Brandon’s bouncing a basketball on the hardwood floors of our rental. I catch the mild smell of, yeah, Tiger Balm! This time he figured it wouldn’t be such a big deal because he was leaving to go play basketball. Well, guess what? The smell of The Tiger still lingers a half an hour after he left.

And here’s what I don’t get: Each time he used The Tiger he opted not to tell me he was putting it on. I try to imagine him rubbing the pungent salve on his neck or arms or whatever thinking, “Hmm, pretty sure this stuff stinks and I seem to recall Kristy wasn’t so wild about it. Should I say something? Nah. I’ll just put on a turtle neck. Yeah, that’ll work.” So I’ve decided it’s enough of the promises and the “I’ll never do it agains.” I’m going to go find that Tiger Balm and hide it. Three strikes and you’re out, Mr. Griggs.